25 Mercury in Retrograde Tweets That'll Make You Laugh

Folks, mercury is in retrograde. Do I know what that means? Not really, but it’s bad. Really bad. And it’s what I’m blaming all my problems on right now. And you can too!

What Does It Mean That Mercury Is In Retrograde?

According to NASA, Mercury in retrograde isn’t a real thing. Their official statement on the matter: “The planet does not physically start moving backwards in its orbit. It just appears to do so because of the relative positions of the planet and Earth and how they are moving around the Sun.”

According to not-NASA, because Mercury — who in Greek mythology was the winged messenger to the gods — rules communication, when the planet appears to move backwards it messes with communication (not that the Gods ever actually listened to him).

As a result, astrologers generally advise not to start projects, sign contracts, or make big purchases. They warn that delays, complications, misunderstandings are all commonplace when Mercury is in retrograde. Is it scientific? No! Are we going to blame the fact that the airline lost our luggage on it? Yes!

(We will also be getting some these cute carry-on bags to replace the ones they lost.)

When Is Mercury in Retrograde?

Ok, ignoring NASA for a moment… here are the dates when “mercury is in retrograde” in 2019. Also, the entire purpose of this site is to tell you whether or not Mercury is or is not in retrograde. Here are your dates for the next few years. (And, for the record, we side with science.)

Retrograde Dates 2019:

March 5-28, 2019
July 7 – August 1, 2019
October 31 – November 20, 2019

Retrograde Dates 2020:

February 19 – March 9, 2020
June 17 – July 12, 2020
October 13 – November 3, 2020

Retrograde Dates 2021:

February 3 – February 20, 2021
May 29 – June 22, 2021
September 27 – October 18, 2021

Then again, we shouldn’t let facts get in the way of good content! So enjoy these Tweets and memes until the universe gets its shit together again. And, don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

20 Accurate Tweets That Perfectly Describe Mercury in Retrograde

1. Maybe we should leave Mercury alone.

HUMANS: Oh no, Mercury is in retrograde.
MERCURY: *Literally just floating in space* Haha, I don’t think I am, friends!
HUMANS: That’s why everything is bad.
MERCURY: *Trying not to cry* WTF, you guys?

— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) July 27, 2018

2. Yeah that looks about right.

3. I always get them confused.

4. The only logical explanation.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Betches Media (@betches)

5. Always good advice.

6. Never Tweet.

7. SAME.

8. Ah, that’s why I can’t get it together.

9. This is a good boyfriend.

This morning I woke up crying cause I had a bad dream and my half asleep boyfriend hugs me and says “don’t worry babe it’s cause the planets are in Gatorade remember” LMAO ????????

— alyssa lauren (@_AlyssaLauren) July 9, 2018

10. This is my jam.

the boys (planets) are back in town (retrograde)

— robyn reynolds (@depressionfan93) July 18, 2018

11. It’s gotta be one of them, right?

12. Hang in there.

13. The planets can’t block your shine.

14. Oh, yeah, that too.

15. Well played.

16. Don’t blame me.

17. Well they could be related.

18. The harsh truth.

19. Let me be.

20. My bad, I’ll stop now.

You know what’s worse than Mercury being in retrograde? Being constantly told that Mercury is in retrograde.

— Black Big Lebowski (@LaJethroJenkins) December 5, 2017

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Mac McCann

I’m Mac McCann, a social media expert and writer based in Austin, Texas.

I can be found on Twitter at @macmccanntx or at my site, Mac McCann.

I’ve written hundreds of articles on a wide variety of topics. My work has been published in more than a dozen publications, including The Dallas Morning News, The Chicago Tribune, Newsday, The Houston Chronicle, The Seattle Times, Complex, The Charlotte Observer, Sun-Sentinel, The Austin American-Statesman, Reason, Austin Chronicle, Hawaii Tribune-Herald, Dallas Observer, OC Weekly, The La Crosse Tribune, The Intelligencer, The South Bend Tribune, Phoenix New Times, and more.