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Home » Funny

These Are The Funniest Quotes About Being A Mom, From Moms, and For Moms

By Hannah Rex | May 11, 2023 | Updated on June 10, 2023 | Leave a Comment
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Funny Mom Quotes - weird kids
Funny Mom Quotes - william feather
Funny Mom Quotes - fast toddlers
Funny Mom Quotes - emma bombeck
Funny Mom Quotes - mean girls
Funny Mom Quotes - julia roberts
Funny Mom Quotes - do it how mom says
Funny Mom Quotes - golden girls
Funny Mom Quotes - feeding your kids
Funny Mom Quotes - my mother
Funny Mom Quotes - wet towelettes
Funny Mom Quotes - nancy stahl
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Funny Mom Quotes - mignon mclaughlin
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Funny Mom Quotes - rebecca caprara
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Funny Mom Quotes - amy poehler
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Funny Mom Quotes - silence is golden
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Funny Mom Quotes - Erma Bombeck
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There’s no doubt about it: moms keep the world running. From soccer practice coordination to homework help to giving advice arguably better than Oprah, they really are superheros without a cape. Or sometimes, with a cape! And according to these funny mom quotes, they can be pretty hilarious, too.

We’ve got to get it from somewhere, right?

These quotes are great for Mother’s Day or any day, whether you’re the celebrating woman who raised you, a friend who’s a new mom, or if you’re a mom yourself. Because there’s no better gift than laughter. Well…other than a night off. But who says you can’t have both? You make the rules!

Funny Mom Quotes

 

37 Funny Mom Quotes

1. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” – Erma Bombeck
Funny Mom Quotes - Erma Bombeck

 

2. “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller
Funny Mom Quotes - Phyllis Diller

 

3. “Mothers are like superheroes, but with less time to change into a cape.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - superheros

 

4. “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - silence is golden

 

5. “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, hold our breath and hope we’ve set aside enough money for our kid’s therapy.” — Michelle Pfeiffer
Funny Mom Quotes - michelle pfeiffer

 

6. “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘keep away from children’.” – Susan Savannah
Funny Mom Quotes - susan savannah

 

7. “It’s the best acting of my life right here, the well-rested woman. It’s my finest role.” – Kerry Washington
Funny Mom Quotes - kerry washington

 

8. “A toy Tamagotchi is more communicative than a human baby, OK? Because the toy will at least tell you when it poos.” – Ali Wong
Funny Mom Quotes - ali wong

 

9. “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse
Funny Mom Quotes - lane olinghouse

 

10. “The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish.” – Carrie Underwood
Funny Mom Quotes - carrie underwood

 

11. “Honey, I’m your mother. It’s my job to strong-arm people into seeing how amazing you are.” – Beverly Goldberg from “The Goldbergs”
Funny Mom Quotes - the goldbergs

 

12. “Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.” – Amy Poehler
Funny Mom Quotes - amy poehler

 

13. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
Funny Mom Quotes - milton berle

 

14. “My two-year-old referred to her coat pockets as “snack holes,” and this is what I shall forever call them.” – Rebecca Caprara
Funny Mom Quotes - rebecca caprara

 

15. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron
Funny Mom Quotes - nora ephron

 

16. “Ah, babies. They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” – Tina Fey
Funny Mom Quotes - tina fey

 

17. “No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.” – Chrissy Teigen
Funny Mom Quotes - chrissy teigen

 

18. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
Funny Mom Quotes - phyllis diller

 

19. “Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” – Alyson Hannigan
Funny Mom Quotes - alyson hannigan

 

20. “Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” – Nia Vardalos
Funny Mom Quotes - nia vardalos

 

21. “Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house.” – Julie Bowen
Funny Mom Quotes - julie bowen

 

22. “I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner, then I remember I’m the and I have to cook dinner.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - who cooks dinner

 

23. “When my kids act up in public, I like to yell ‘Wait till I tell your mom!’ and pretend they’re not mine.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - they're not mine

 

24. “Mama does everything for the baby, who responds by saying, ‘Da-da’ first.” – Mignon McLaughlin
Funny Mom Quotes - mignon mclaughlin

 

25. “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” – Reese Witherspoon
Funny Mom Quotes - reese witherspoon

 

26. “Over the years I have learned that motherhood is much like an austere religious order, the joining of which obligates one to relinquish all claims to personal possessions.” – Nancy Stahl
Funny Mom Quotes - nancy stahl

 

27. “Motherhood takes patience, humor and a lot of wet towelettes.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - wet towelettes

 

28. “Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - my mother

 

29. “Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - feeding your kids

 

30. “My mother always used to say: ‘The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” — Rose Nylund from “Golden Girls”
Funny Mom Quotes - golden girls

 

31. “If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you to do it from the start.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - do it how mom says

 

32. “Usually the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty.” – Julia Roberts
Funny Mom Quotes - julia roberts

 

33. “There are no rules in this house. I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom.” – Mrs. George from “Mean Girls”
Funny Mom Quotes - mean girls

 

34. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” — Erma Bombeck
Funny Mom Quotes - emma bombeck

 

35. “The fastest land animal is a toddler with something in his mouth.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - fast toddlers

 

36. “Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.” — William Feather
Funny Mom Quotes - william feather

 

37. “You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid that acts just like you.” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes - weird kids

  • Author
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Hannah Rex
Hannah Rex
Hannah Rex is Darcy’s Executive Editor. She has a background in journalism, content marketing, and SEO writing. She currently covers entertainment news, food news and trends, pop culture trends, and more. In addition to Darcy, she has written for companies including Beachbody, FitPlan, Soothe, Let's Eat Cake, and Her Campus. She also manages Darcy’s Instagram and weekly newsletters.

When not sitting behind a computer writing and editing, she’s an avid runner and yogi with an RYT 200 certification. Follow her on Instagram @hannah_rex and LinkedIn.
Hannah Rex
Latest posts by Hannah Rex (see all)
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  • 115 Dad Jokes That Are So Bad, They’re Somehow Good - May 26, 2023
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As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. This post may contain affiliate links from Amazon and other sites that we collect a share of sales from.
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