68 Kind of Terrible Corny Jokes You Might Enjoy

Corny jokes come in all shapes and sizes from short one-liners to knock knock jokes so funny you’ll wonder who even needs a doorbell? We’re kidding. They’re all pretty terrible.

But, if you’re looking for some real groaners, this collection of jokes might do the trick.

Corny Jokes

Why is the grass so dangerous? It’s full of blades.
Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!
Why are there gates surrounding cemeteries? People are dying to get in.
Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn’t want to be spotted.
Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Every play has a cast.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? His parents were in a jam.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired.
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
Why did the photo go to jail? Because it was framed.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For drizzle!
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why don’t you buy things with Velcro? It’s a rip-off.
Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn his alphabet? Because he always got lost at C.

What kind of tree has a hand? A palm tree.
What did the science book say to the math book? Wow, you’ve got problems.
What do you call a boring dinosaur? A dino-snore!
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What kind of cheese isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.
What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.
What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs? A con descending.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
What has ears but can’t hear? A cornfield!
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line.

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat? A boa constructor.
What did the elevator say when it sneezed? I think I’m coming down with something.
What does a spy do when he gets cold? He goes undercover.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.
What kind of shoes do robbers wear? Sneakers.
What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.
What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking? A nervous wreck.
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.

How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
How do you tell if a vampire is sick? See if he is coffin.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.
How do snails fight? They slug it out.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
If you receive a picture of some meat in a tin from me at your email address. Don’t worry it’s just spam.
It’s not appropriate to make a dad joke if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine now, she woke up.
When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.

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Ashley Hubbard

Ashley Hubbard is a freelance writer and creator. As a Darcy Magazine contributor, she covers all things related to nails, entertainment news, pop culture trends, and more. Additionally, she regularly writes interview-based celebrity stories for Coping with Cancer magazine and has written for other publications, including Let's Eat Cake, Roadtrippers, Greatist, and Healthline. She has also been featured by Impact Travel Alliance as a creative who is transforming travel, and by Matador Network as a vegan travel blogger you should be following on Instagram.

Ashley is a Nashville unicorn (born, raised, and based), queer, vegan, and dedicated to leaving a positive impact through her life, work, and her website, Wild Hearted.

When she's not writing, she's traveling, reading a book, trying not to kill her houseplants, worshiping her dog, or having an existential crisis. Follow her on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Twitter, and LinkedIn

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