Masturbation is about to get even more fun, thanks to Emojibator. Founded in 2016 by Joe Vela and Kristin Fretz, the sex toy company got its start by selling the Eggplant Emoji Vibrator.
Because as we all know, that particular emoji has been co-opted and does not, in fact, mean eggplant. Unless it’s a text from your grandma. Yum…eggplant parm for dinner!
Since then, they’ve expanded their collection to feature other emoji-themed sex toys, like the cherry, pickle, and banana. Oddly enough, the octopus emoji is still missing from their collection. Consider this our official application to join your PR team, Emojibator.
We’re positively peachy (insert peach emoji) over the whole thing, and about to call out of work for the next week to get to work testing all of these out.
For, you know, research. Don’t bother texting.
Our Favorite Emojibator Sex Toys
1. Eggplant Emojibator
The OG emojibator is a classic for a reason. And really, who doesn’t get turned on by vegetables? It’s the main reason we don’t eat them. Yeah, let’s go with that.
Available at Emojibator
2. Strawberry Emojibator
This dual-function toy serves as both a vibrator and suction toy, with modes that simulate a licking tongue. So the next time you see someone eating a strawberry, don’t blame us if your Pavlovian response kicks in.
Available at Emojibator
3. Cherry Emojibator
The phrase “pop your cherry” always felt skeevy. But Emojibator is redefining what it means with this travel-friendly vibrator. Now it just means, “confuse your TSA agent.”
Available at Emojibator
4. Chili Pepper Emojibator
Heat things up the bedroom with this spicy vibrator. Figuratively, not literally. We love a lot of sensations down there, but burning is not one of them. We’ll never forget you, Jalapeño Hands Disaster of 2012.
Available at Emojibator
5. Pickle Emojibator
Next time you’re in a pickle, reach for this little guy. It probably won’t solve your actual problem (getting out of the pickle jar), but at least you’ll blend in.
Available at Emojibator
6. Chickie Emojibator
While we’re on the subject, has anyone seen our Easter Bunny butt plug?
Available at Emojibator
7. Banana Emojibator
This one’s a little too on-the-nose for our liking, but to each their own. Just make sure you keep it away from your roommate’s monkey. This banana isn’t for you, Marcel!
Available at Emojibator
8. Squid Vibrating Massager
The jury’s still out on the octopus vibrator, but while we’re waiting, here’s a squid-themed one. And no, it does not taste like calamari. New flavored condom idea?
Available at Emojibator
9. i-Scream Vibrator
This vibrator satisfies two cravings in one. We’re still saving that Ben & Jerry’s pint for after, though.
Available at Emojibator
10. Teddy Bear Vibrator
Someone has to say it, so it might as well be us. Mr. Teddy is packing. How’d we end up in a Mark Wahlberg movie?
Available at Emojibator
11. Doris Love Egg Whale Vibrator
We’re having a whale of a time with this remote controlled vibrator. Watch out for the blowhole…
Available at Emojibator
12. Paula Kitty Cat Kegel Ball Vibrator
At the time of writing, this one is sadly sold out. But that just tells you how epic this toy is. If you can get your hands on it, you’ve got yourself a vibrating cat that actually takes orders from you. You better watch your back, Mittens.
Available at Emojibator
13. Candle Warming Vibrating Wand
The best thing about this product is that you can’t even tell its a sex toy, so no more frantic last-minute bedroom clean-ups when your parents come to town. But it couldn’t hurt to hide all those Starburst wrappers.
Available at Emojibator
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