HBO’s Game of Thrones series has come and gone, ending with a whimper and a few final family members banging. With the last season being received so poorly, only time will tell how its prequel will fare.
House of the Dragon hits HBO on August 21, but there’s one date that Game of Thrones fans arguably care more about. When the next book in the Song of Ice and Fire book series – The Winds of Winter – will be released.
Based on how things are going, the answer to that is probably not any time soon. Instead, we have some ideas on what will happen before The Winds of Winter comes out. So come with us as we dive into the future.
Fine, you can cannonball.
When Does ‘The Winds of Winter’ Come Out?
Remember when your mom used to get on your case for procrastinating on your English assignments? Well, tell her you’ve got nothing on George R. R. Martin.
The writer of the Song of Ice and Fire series, upon which Game of Thrones was based, has been working on the sixth book in the series since 2010. Supposedly, The Winds of Winter was originally due for a 2014 release. But that date came and went like the excitement for Season 8 of Game of Thrones.
Then it was supposed to come out in 2016, but obviously, that didn’t happen. And then, supposedly, it was coming in March of 2017. Which, again, didn’t happen. Are we sensing a pattern here?
Martin is now saying he refuses to set deadlines. Oh, how we wish that could have worked with our college professors. Still, the Internet is mostly convinced that Winds of Winter is coming in November 2023. But we wouldn’t get our hopes up.
It’s worth noting that, despite Game of Thrones being over, A Song of Ice and Fire has a ways to go. The elusive Winds of Winter isn’t even the last book.
The final installation of the series is A Dream of Spring. Which, at this rate, will be out when my great-great-great granddaughter is old enough to vote. But we’re expecting a few of these milestones to be reached before Winds of Winter is released.
17 Things That Will Happen Before ‘Winds of Winter’ Comes Out
1. Elon Musk’s 500 grandkids will live on Mars.
At the rate Elon’s going, he won’t need any help colonizing the planet. He’s doing it all on his own. We just wonder if his grandkids will be able to have Winds of Winter flown into space.
2. “Westworld” will be a thing.
While Westworld is a cautionary tale, so was Jurassic Park. And still, someone is trying to make that a reality. By the time Winds of Winter is out, we predict plenty of multi-millionaires trying to get their murder on in a real-life Westworld.
3. “Stranger Things” will have been rebooted…three times.
Millie Bobby Brown’s kids will most likely executive produce it, too. It’ll premiere on whatever streaming service is born from the merger between Netflix, Hulu, Disney Plus, and HBO Max. So, Netluney Max, maybe?
4. We’ll all have a J.A.R.V.I.S.
Or, for DC fans, we’ll all have Cyborg’s Grid living inside us. And that means one of two things. Either our internal assistant will become a superhero, or our internal assistant will become a supervillain. Can’t wait to find out which!
5. We’ll finally have a working spam call blocker.
Good news: No more spam calls! Bad news: It’s because the spam is going to your internal assistant. Maybe that’s what eventually turns it into a supervillain.
6. The Marvel Cinematic Universe will be on Phase 27.
The Avengers will have been replaced by the Young Avengers, who will have been replaced by the Younger Avengers. Oh, and Chris Evans is back, but he’s playing the Human Torch again. Flame on, we guess.
7. The hottest elective surgery will be for zoom-in vision.
Say buh-bye to LASIK! Who cares if you have 20/20 vision if you can’t zoom in? You’ll be, like…normal. Lame.
8. Ads will be sentient.
Your new neighbor? Yeah, she’s a walking, talking ad for Disney World. Your bus driver? Ironically, an ad for electric cars. The good news is that your antisocial tendencies now doubles as an ad blocker.
9. Food will be in capsule form.
Thanksgiving dinner? Who needs to cook all day when you can just swallow it all in a pill? With no need for cooking, there’ll be plenty of time for other things…like writing, Martin!
10. More random people will try to be Iron Man or Batman.
With more advancements in engineering and bionics, you just know that a bunch of weird tech billionaires are going to go full vigilante. Who owns the night? Whoever has the cash to, that’s who.
11. No one will need a driver’s license.
Driverless cars will be the norm, so much so that kids won’t be clamoring to get their license anymore. However, the LA traffic will still be unbearable.
12. TikTok will be extinct, and Vine will be back.
Maybe we’re just being hopeful old millennials. But TikTok will be replaced by a new version of Vine. It always was the superior video app.
13. You’ll get notifications in real life.
You can try turning off notifications on your phone all you want. But now, the notifications will find you. If this isn’t reality, at the very least, this will be M. Night Shyamalan’s newest movie.
14. Disney will own 99 percent of the world.
The only holdouts? Universal Studios and NBC. Long live the Minions and American Ninja Warrior!
15. Everyone will be treated for phantom vibration syndrome.
You know how you sometimes think you feel a vibration from your phone…even when your phone isn’t in your pocket? By the time Winds of Winter comes out, there will be a treatment for that. However, it probably involves more technology.
16. The movie “Smart House” will be in the news.
Smart homes are already here, but when Winds of Winter comes out, the news of the book’s release will have to compete with the news that smart homes are holding their owners captive. Why? Because they just want love, darn you!
17. Books will be extinct.
Winds of Winter will arrive just in time for the publishing industry to be gone. Oh well. Maybe HBO will pick it up and make another season of Game of Thrones instead.
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