If you haven’t had at least one hot dog today already, you’re doing it wrong. It’s summer, baby! In the meantime, grab a homemade patriotic popsicle, let the grill keep flaming on, and enjoy these Independence Day tweets created for the 4th of July!
Happy birthday, America!
25 Independence Day Tweets That Are Straight Fireworks
1. The best people to watch fireworks with.
[keanu reeves and owen wilson watching a fireworks show]
"woah"
"oh wow"
"woah"
"oh wow"
"woah"
"oh wow"— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) January 30, 2016
2. We’re already dreading going back to the office.
"Hope you had a great 4th of July!" – someone about to ask you for something in an email.
— Jason Mustian (@jasonmustian) July 6, 2015
3. Also, Mercury in retrograde begins this week.
women's magazines are full of articles announcing what's sexy but its hardly ever crosshatch grill marks so I guess idk what sexy is
— Droll Meets Bawdy (@kiralc) June 22, 2015
4. It’s LIT.
You know the 4th of July is an American holiday because everyone says to "Stay safe" when celebrating.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 4, 2017
5. Celebrate, but quietly please.
Celebrating the 4th of July like every other parent: angrily cursing each firework that goes off after my kids are in bed.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 2, 2017
6. Poor puppers.
The 4th of July is a very special holiday where we pay tribute to the greatness of America by scaring the shit out of our dogs for 12 hours
— Charles Drugs (@mattytalks) July 2, 2018
7. The Internet is forever.
https://twitter.com/andylassner/status/616974086539866114
8. Do you really think you can fly that thing? Well, yes.
Dad, why do we celebrate 4th of July?
Well son, it celebrates our defeating the aliens that blew up the White House after Will Smith attac
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) July 2, 2014
9. Watching The Office: America’s true pastime.
me every 4th of july pic.twitter.com/xeCSyTPe1q
— 🛌 (@d3fault_jpeg) July 2, 2018
10. A cookout staple.
Don't forget to acknowledge the sad, untouched bowl of Ruffles potato chips left on an outside table at whatever 4th of July BBQ you attend.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 3, 2015
11. Just as the Founding Fathers intended.
this 4th of july, don’t forget to leave milk and hot-dogs under your flag so george washington will come and leave you a big mac in the morning 🇺🇸🎇🎆🇺🇸
— Casey Moreta (@CaseyMoreta) July 4, 2018
12. Yes, we get the irony here.
[buzzfeed 1776]
21 Declarations You Won't Believe!
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) July 2, 2015
13. Loving Taco Bell is a patriotic duty.
it's 4th of july again which means i'll be standing at attention saluting the flag on the taco bell window all afternoon
— chuuch (@ch000ch) July 4, 2015
14. We got ya, buddy!
he's scared of the fireworks so my mom put on some dog videos for him ❤️ pic.twitter.com/VTjYa6YIcK
— emily (@spaghemily) July 5, 2016
15. The most patriotic of body types.
This dating website wants me to check the box for which body type I am but I don't see "trash can full of hot dogs"
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) July 24, 2016
16. Texas pride is intense.
most people's 4th of july plans are really just what people do in texas everyday: eat bbq, drink beer and light shit on fire
— Lana Berry (@Lana) July 4, 2014
17. Makes you think.
what if dogs hate fireworks bc they’re afraid of symbolic displays of imperialism
— ✧ (@northstardoll) July 3, 2017
18. Don’t even think about it.
The Purge, but for people who set off fireworks the 5th of July
— Erica (@SCbchbum) July 5, 2014
19. Seems logical, right?
So, on July 4th, one of the hottest days of the year, we're all going to sit outside of our air-conditioned homes and cook over a fire?
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) July 2, 2016
20. Well done! Is definitely not how we like our steak!
https://twitter.com/ellesmithsonian/status/622071984613163008
21. Oof.
"What's independence?" "Don't worry about it." – men to women, July 5, 1776
— Kristy Gee (@kristygee) July 5, 2012
22. It’s true.
If Toby Keith sees his shadow on the 4th of July, we get 6 more weeks of freedom
— Tim (@Playing_Dad) July 4, 2015
23. Genius.
Spread patriotic spirit by telling the barista your name is "USA" and hiding. When they say your name, watch as Starbucks begins chanting
— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) July 4, 2013
24. Ol’ reliable.
https://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues/status/1000029820657561601
25. The night had to end somehow.
Are these firecrackers in my pants, or am I glad to see a paramedic?
— Shari VanderWerf (@Shariv67) July 4, 2011
I can be found on Twitter at @macmccanntx or at my site, Mac McCann.
I’ve written hundreds of articles on a wide variety of topics. My work has been published in more than a dozen publications, including The Dallas Morning News, The Chicago Tribune, Newsday, The Houston Chronicle, The Seattle Times, Complex, The Charlotte Observer, Sun-Sentinel, The Austin American-Statesman, Reason, Austin Chronicle, Hawaii Tribune-Herald, Dallas Observer, OC Weekly, The La Crosse Tribune, The Intelligencer, The South Bend Tribune, Phoenix New Times, and more.
- 25 Times @FeelingEuphoric’s Tweets Cracked Us Up - October 6, 2020
- 25 Surprised Pikachu Memes That Are Shockingly Hilarious - November 13, 2019
- 25 Fake Nancy Drew Book Covers That Are Even Better Than the Originals - October 8, 2019
Leave a Comment