O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches. Too bad we’re about to cover them with some ugly Christmas ornaments. And some very sporadically spaced lights.
If you’re going for a tree with an “aesthetic,” you’re going to hate all of these weird ornaments. But, if you want to deck the branches with ornaments that say, ‘I don’t take myself, or Christmas, too seriously,’ keep on reading.
Ugly Christmas Ornaments
1. Cat Butt Ornament, $20
Sometimes we like our weird Christmas ornaments with a side of cute. (That’s the backside.)
Available on Etsy.
2. St. Nicolas Cage as the Mona Lisa Ornament, $7.64
We would fly to Paris just to see Nicolas Cage turned into the Mona Lisa. But putting it on our tree and seeing it everyday is even better. And our private jet could use a break.
Available on Etsy.
3. Pooping Pooch Ornament, $11.99
Potty humor might not be elevated, but mostly that comes down to the force of gravity. This pooping pooch ornament is sure to remind you to bring a bag on your next walk, which hopefully is outside this time.
Available on Etsy.
4. Blobfish Ornament
An ugly blobfish ornament is what nightmares are made of. Especially if you’re a crab.
Available on Amazon.
5. Deviled Egg Ornament
Nothing says Christmas spirit quite like a deviled egg. Reindeer everywhere agree.
Available on Amazon.
6. Shirtless Barista Merman Ornament
This hunky merman doesn’t fall so much into the “ugly” camp as it does into the weird one. December Diamonds created a whole lineup of them in case you’re inspired to make a themed tree to match ours.
Available on Amazon.
7. Krampus Ornament
Halloween isn’t the only holiday where you can terrify the local kids. Deviled egg, anyone?
Available on Amazon.
8. Penis Snowflake Ornament, $11
This weird ornament is great because, from afar, it just looks like a regular snowflake. Or maybe this is what all snowflakes look like under the microscope?
Available on Etsy.
9. Tito’s Vodka Ornament, $14.99
Break the Grinch to rescue the vodka in case of emergency. Yes, Uncle Larry starting to talk about his upcoming colonoscopy qualifies as an emergency.
Available on Etsy.
10. Peed on Snowman Ornament
Dogs and snowmen go together like pineapple and pizza. As in, not at all. Better luck next year, Frosty!
Available on Amazon.
11. Horsehead Ornament
We like a weird ornament that’s self-aware. And reminds us of the Godfather.
Available on Amazon.
12. Joe Exotic Christmas Tree Ornament, $11.99
Take this as your reminder to go re-watch the horror story that was Tiger King. Spoiler alert: Don lives!
Available on Etsy.
13. Sloths in Ugly Christmas Sweaters
You’ve heard of goat yoga. Now introducing… sloth yoga! Classes start once every 8 hours.
Available on Amazon.
14. Xmas T-Rex Ornament
The scariest part about this weird Christmas ornament is how well he blends into the tree. And how large his tongue is.
Available on Amazon.
15. Sweet Jesus Ornament
Move over Sweet Caroline. Sweet Gingerbread Jesus is here to take over.
Available on Amazon.
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