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Home » Seasonal » Christmas

These Bad Elves on the Shelf Should Have Santa Doing Background Checks

By Hebba Gouda | November 30, 2022 | Leave a Comment
This post may contain affiliate links that we collect a share of sales from. Click here for more details.
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Bad Elf on the Shelf - Awfully Chipper This Morning
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Bad Elf on the Shelf - Let It Snow
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Bad Elf on the Shelf - Elf on the Top Shelf
Bad Elf on the Shelf - Railroad Problem
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Bad Elf on the Shelf - Bye Minnie
Bad Elf on the Shelf - Urine Trouble
Bad Elf on the Shelf - Hershey’s Kisses
Bad Elf on the Shelf - Knotty List
Bad Elf on the Shelf - Magic Dust
Bad Elf on the Shelf - Zombie Strip Club Elf
Bad Elf on the Shelf - Blame It On Global Warming

The Elf on the Shelf is what you make it. And sometimes you might just choose to make it a bad Elf on the Shelf. Because sure, you could leave it as a creepy figure watching innocently from a corner and not doing much of anything. But you already have your Uncle Rooney for that.

The original idea behind the perched elf is that it acts as Santa’s eyes and ears to keep kiddos on their best behavior. But many people take a more creative license with their elves, making goofy scenes around the character instead of having them just sit on the shelf.
Bad Elf on the Shelf

Although plenty of displays can be kid friendly, many elves can end up in…we’ll say, precarious positions, both physically and morally. And just as well. The adults should have a little fun around the holidays, too!

It’s not like the kids are paying for the toys, anyway. Or anything. What a bunch of freeloaders.

 

The 20 Funniest Ideas for a Bad Elf on the Shelf

1. Zombie Strip Club Elf

To be fair, who hasn’t had a sex dream about Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy? The best part is that this elf looks like he’s sitting on a jar of baby food. Sometimes you just have to hit the clubs on the way back from running errands!

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Zombie Strip Club Elf
Photo Credit: @u/BeefAddict

 

2. Magic Dust

The vacant stare says it all. “Bro. You would not believe the line(s) to see Santa.”

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Magic Dust
Photo Credit: @u/BeefAddict

 

3. Knotty List

It’d be a real shame to let that boy scout knot-tying training go to waste, wouldn’t it?

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Knotty List
Photo Credit: @u/BeefAddict

 

4. Hershey’s Kisses

Serves Santa right for thinking he can break into people’s homes and just take their cookies.

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Hershey’s Kisses
Photo Credit: @u/BeefAddict

 

5. Urine Trouble

Don’t ask why the martini tastes like asparagus, okay?

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Urine Trouble
Photo Credit: @u/BeefAddict

 

6. Minnie’s Murder

When customers are highly dissatisfied with the prices of Dole Whip.

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Bye Minnie
Photo Credit: @u/Rgraff58

 

7. World’s Collie

Christmas is about coming together, even the worlds of Marvel and DC!

Bad Elf on the Shelf - World’s Collie
Photo Credit: @u/Rgraff58

 

8. Railroad Problem

Nothing like sitting around the fire, drinking hot coco with the family, and using Elf on the Shelf to springboard a heated philosophical discussion stemming from The Railroad Problem.

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Railroad Problem
Photo Credit: @u/ComptrEyes

 

9. Elf on the Top Shelf

We mean, what kind of “shelf” was never really specified, was it?

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Elf on the Top Shelf

 

10. That 9 to 5 Grind

Sometimes a little chit-chat at the water cooler just isn’t enough to take the stress away.

Bad Elf on the Shelf - That 9 - 5 Grind

 

11. Silence of the Lambs Elf on the Shelf

That dry winter air makes putting lotion on the skin even more important.

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Silence of the Lambs

 

12. Waste of Marshmallows

We like to think that this is a result of a woeful misunderstanding of the conversation, “What do you want to do to celebrate the holidays?” “I dunno, let’s just spitball.”

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Waste of Marshmallows

 

13. Bent Over Elf on the Shelf

Don’t you ever knock? Jeez.

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Bent Over

 

14. Let It Snow

You see, kids, you have to be very careful when wishing for a white Christmas…

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Let It Snow

 

15. It’s a D*ck in a Box!

The Lonely Island would be so proud.

Bad Elf on the Shelf - It’s a D*ck in a Box!

 

16. Strip Poker

Wait, does this mean that the elf is really good at poker?

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Strip Poker

 

17. Blame It On Global Warming

Frosty has “forgotten” a holiday potluck dish for the last dang time. “But I brought the ice!” Very funny, Frosty. Where’s that casserole you promised?!

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Blame It On Global Warming

 

18. Branching Out

Really nice to see Elves branching out of the typical toy maker careers. We’re really rooting for the aspiring filmmakers out there!

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Branching Out

 

19. Trashman Elf on the Shelf

What? Santa’s workshop doesn’t have a garbage disposal!

Bad Elf on the Shelf - Awfully Chipper This Morning

 

20. Belted Outfits Are In

Extremely important to always wear your seatbelt. Especially when you’re in for a wild ride…

https://twitter.com/CalExotics/status/1474150965628399626

  • Author
  • Recent Posts
Hebba Gouda
Hebba Gouda
Hebba is a New Jersey born, Minnesota educated brunch enthusiast who is strongly in favor of the Oxford comma. She likes nostalgic songs, jigsaw puzzles, and middle brownie pieces. She dislikes humidity, sports, and sports in humidity. She uses her background in science and creative writing as part of the team behind the podcast Two What's?! and a Wow! You can find her being silly on Twitter and serious on LinkedIn.
Hebba Gouda
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As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. This post may contain affiliate links from Amazon and other sites that we collect a share of sales from.
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