We’ve all been through it, being in a conversation when you offer a bit of information that makes the record scratch and the room go silent. Nothing is more embarrassing than finding out something you believed your whole life is not only wrong but also dumb.
Maybe you were spared from this in adulthood but everyone has been through this at some point in their lives. One of my personal favorites was when my 30 something-year-old friends told me we had to catch that mouse in his house before it grew into a full-blown rat.
We’re not here to shame you for your silly misbeliefs (like ponies being baby horses) but we are here to laugh at them.
Redditor u/Vinyl_BunBuns asked the question: “What’s the dumbest thing you actually believed?” and the people of Reddit did not disappoint.
Some of these answers I can actually relate to, because when your older brother tells you staying in the water long enough will make you grow gills behind your ears like Kevin Costner in Waterworld, you try your darndest to stay in the water.
Here are the 28 most entertaining answers from people who were willing to admit they once believed something incredibly stupid.
“When I was younger I thought that guys had commas because girls had periods.” –RepresentativeJoke98
“I believed I could kill people with my hands when my fish died after I took it out of the water when I was four. So I never hugged or touched anyone until at school I poked a person I hated and he didn’t die.
Yes, I tried to murder him because he told on the teacher when I peed on the banana tree.” –NormalGuy2049
“As a kid, I thought that the ‘World Wars’ were like battle royales where there were no alliances, no surrenders, and just pure bloody violence between every country on Earth (e.g. I thought every country fought all of its neighbors simultaneously) ” –Tiberius-the-Cuddler
“That reindeer wasn’t an actual animal but specifically a mythical animal that Santa Claus used. I believed this until I was 23 or so when I saw some nature documentary talking about reindeer. I was like, ‘whaaaaaaaaat?'” –azzwhole
“As a kid, my sister told me that we had an older brother that died. She said he died when playing bowling and his fingers didn’t come out the ball and slid all the way down the alley then he turned into a skittle.” –Hartsock91
“Dogs = boys and cats = girls.
I don’t know, it made sense to me as a kid for some reason.” –-eDgAR-
“I used to think that people exclusively wore hats if they were bald, because that’s why my dad wore a hat.” –Narniach
“I believed, from old photos and old TV shows, that the whole world was once in black-and-white and one day it “switched” over to color, and all the old black and white TVs, except for the one in my grandfather’s kitchen, had switched over to color TVs too. My grandfather got a good chuckle out of it after I had explained my thinking.” –VictorBlimpmuscle
“When I was little, I genuinely believed the Telly Tubbies were evil and that if I didn’t watch them on TV every night (even though I hated the show) that they would come and get me.
To be fair though they’re kind of creepy.” –SaltySaltFinger
“I believed my uncles “roommate” just slept on the couch…” –basicgirl_canteven
“That sperm were the size of tennis balls and would burst forth from the head of your penis if you “slept with a woman,” slither across the bed up into her, and make the baby.
Thanks facts of life pop-up book with no adults willing to clarify that the objects within were not always to scale.” –billbapapa
“A watermelon/apple tree will grow out of my stomach if I eat the seeds.” –ThatOneWhoSparkles
“That there was an incredibly fat, slimy dinosaur called a Bloppiasaurus. I even made a whole report about it in kindergarten, based entirely off of the information my oh so intelligent and generous stepfather told me.” –BionicPigHeart
“That someone could shoot me from the other side of a phone during a phone call. Whenever kid me was on a phone call, I always tried to end the call as soon as possible, and get away from the phone as fast as possible.” –terminatoreagle
“That men can get pregnant too… Damn you, Schwarzenegger.
I was 6 and I saw a man with a big beer belly shopping for diapers at a mall. It made all sense to me and i was so happy i screamed omg u will have a baby !
I think I am gonna go re-watch Junior again.” –Royalwith-cheese
“If you turn off a video game without pausing the hero is left paralyzed and defenseless. Yes I actually believed that.” –kaimcdragonfist
“That the Great Wall of China had a cat adoption program.
I was meeting my friend’s boyfriend for the first time, and he mentioned that he had just adopted one of the retired Great Wall of China cats. China trains these cats to patrol the Wall and kill vermin, and at the end of their 7 year stint they are retired and adopted out to a forever home. I kept asking questions about it: How do you apply? Are they a specific breed? How do they get transported worldwide? In the end, he told me that he made the whole thing up because my friend had told him I was really gullible and wanted to see how far he could push it, but he didn’t think I’d get so enthused.
The worst part? I was in my mid-twenties at the time.” –_always_sunny_
“I used to be so confused about the amount of time it would take to make movies because I was convinced they did it all in chronological order and when they did flashbacks to childhood, I was like “wow those actors are so committed” or I would think it must take a long time for their hair to grow or change in anyway and never considered it could be a wig.” –wieners69696969
“Not me, but when I was 10-ish I got my then 7-year-old brother to believe that he was the reason the TV kept fritzing out, I literally told him that he was bad luck and that he had to go to another room while I tried to fix it. He genuinely believed it, and today he still gives me flack for it.” –A-Ton-Of-Oreos
Ketchup was made from blood. My bro told me that when I was little. I wasn’t even bothered by it. I was like oh cool I’m like a vampire. –Zeenchi
“Someone convinced me for like, 5 seconds that unicorns were real, they just lost their horns through evolution and now they are plain old horses.” –chinchillerino
“When I was a little kid, I believed that when people got divorced, they had a divorce ceremony, like where they had to go to church and say, “I don’t,” and I imagined the woman wore a black divorce dress dress (like her wedding dress had been dyed black), and that everybody went to the reception where the ex-bride and ex-groom sat on opposite sides of the hall and there was a divorce cake where the bride and groom had their backs to each other with their arms angrily crossed. I eventually learned, from watching my mom’s soap operas, that this was not the case, and was kind of disappointed cuz I’d been to a few weddings by then, and was interested in what a divorce ceremony was like.” –ilovetab
“There was a bug which could bite you and leave freckles. When I was a kid, I got a bug bite on a freckle that I hadn’t noticed before, and assumed the bug did it. It took me until I was 14 or so to realize how little sense that made.” –fennelanddreams
“I used to think tv static was a bunch of some type of microorganisms floating around in my tv that could electrocute you.” –kingcillian
“When I was very young my mother was one of those who would make up BS rather than tell me she didn’t know something.
As a result until education or common sense told me otherwise I believed:
Thunder is angels in heaven bowling.
The sky is blue because God knew it was my favorite color.
Brown cows give chocolate milk.
The local grocery store had chickens in the back laying eggs on demand.
Every person who wasn’t an immediate family member wants to kidnap and hurt me.
Smoking weed will kill you. (Bonus I found out many years later my mom was a hippie)
Girls pee out their butt. ” –FnordBear
“That Australia was actually upside down.” –Migulll929
“When I was a kid I used to think professional wrestling was real, and The Undertaker scared the living shit out of me during his whole Ministry of Darkness phase. I thought he actually was Satan’s minister or something. Like yeah, he’s an undead overlord of hell, here to bring an eternity of darkness and misery to this planet, but he also has to make a weekly television appearance to win a wrestling competition, and you can buy his action figure at Toys R Us.” –ghost0427
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