Sex is the most fun you can have with your clothes off, but it can get stale when you’re doing it the same old way every time. It’s easy to fall into the same old sex habits that you know will consistently get you to the finish line and asleep at bed time.
But the orgasms can be better when you’re excited by something new. Since there are so many things to try in bed and life is short, grab your Lewis to your Clark and use this list to start exploring.
27 Things To Try in Bed
1. Use Lube
Darling, it’s better down where it’s wetter, and we’re not talking about the sea. Even if you are naturally well lubricated, lube keeps you wetter longer so you can go all night. You can even explore lubes with different scents and sensations.
2. Stare Into Each Other’s Eyes
Take a minute to just stare into each other’s eyes. It will help you connect and settle into the moment. Or make you feel so awkward that you’re excited to start having sex to make it end.
3. Take Deep Breaths Together
If you can’t stand eye contact, close your eyes and take deep breaths together. Deep breathing will help you be mindfully in the moment and set a rhythm together.
4. Read Erotica
Pick out your favorite scene from an erotica book and give your partner a reading assignment. They may not have fairy wings, but we’re sure you’ll find something from “A Court of Thorns and Roses” to try.
5. Watch Porn Together
Let your partner into your fantasies by watching your favorite porn together. Hopefully you didn’t erase your browser history so you can find the video.
6. Shoot Your Own Video
In the immortal words of Moira Rose, “Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now.” Become the star of your own porn by taking photos or video during sex. Just make sure your cloud sharing is turned off.
7. Talk Dirty
Tell your partner what you want to do to them and what they should do to you. If you’re too embarrassed to talk dirty face-to-face, try phone sex or sexting. Or Pictionary, if you can actually draw.
8. Masturbate Together
Make a no-touching rule and put on a solo performance for each other. If you try to keep your hands off each other, you won’t be able to. It’s just like telling yourself you won’t buy coffee today makes it absolutely certain that a Frappuccino ends up in your hands by noon. Not that we’d know anything about that.
9. Play a Game
Buy a sexy game to play with your partner–or invent your own. Sexy Truth or Dare, Sexy Twister, Sexy…hopscotch? Anything is worth a try once!
10. Take Control
Tonight, sex is not a democracy. It’s a you-ocracy (with consent, of course.) Take charge and be selfish by doing only what you want to do. Not sure? The New Topping Book is a good place to start.
11. Give Up Control
Ok, maybe sex is a democracy. Now it’s your turn to give up control. Sit back and let your partner take the reins so you can discover their deepest desires. If you want some pointers on this that don’t involve just lying there, the New Book on Bottoming comes highly recommended.
12. Dress Up
Put on your sexiest lingerie, your highest heels, or an old Halloween costume. The sexy Avatar alien costume is finally relevant again!
13. Keep Your Clothes On
Have sex fully dressed in your normal clothes. It feels like sneaking away to have sex, wanting each other so bad you can’t wait to undress.
14. Rip Your Clothes Off
You always see people ripping each other’s clothes off in the movies, but they have a much higher costuming budget. You can rip off old clothes you won’t use again. That high school sports jersey has lived a good life, but it’s time to go.
15. Change The Scenery
The same old room means the same old sex. Move out of the bedroom into the kitchen, office, backyard, a hotel room, or a castle in the countryside that you won from a Duke after betting on a zebra race. Whatever works.
16. Have a Sexy Night Out
Go see a burlesque show, visit a strip club, or go to a sex club to absorb some sexual energy to bring home to the bedroom. Whatever the entertainment is, we promise you it shouldn’t be Cats.
17. Invite a Special Guest
Go on Fetlife or Feeld to arrange a playdate with a fun new partner or partners. You’ll either find a new sex partner or a new friend to help defeat your partner in Mario Party.
18. Get Tied Up
Explore bondage by getting handcuffed to the bed frame, tying your hands around your back, or getting strapped down to the bed. Just be mindful of where you stash any keys. Or get ready to have a very interesting conversation with a locksmith.
19. Close Your Eyes
Keep your eyes closed with a blindfold to heighten your other senses. You can focus on your partner’s touch instead of the dust collecting on your bedroom ceiling fan.
20. Have Shower Sex
Hit the showers to get dirty. Create your own steam by lathering each other up and getting really wet. And remember that those non-slip mats aren’t just for the elderly.
21. Buy a New Toy
Nothing is more exciting than opening the present of a new toy – except for playing with it. Try out a new kind of sex toy you’ve never used before, like a clit sucker or a butt plug. Your Amazon account is about to get a lot more interesting.
22. Take a Toy on the Road
Get a remote control sex toy and take it out on the town. Then, try keeping a straight face while you’re ordering dinner. “Can I get the chicken piccataaaaaaah?”
23. Look in The Mirror
Why should your partner be the only one who can see how hot you look right now? Put a mirror next to your bed so you can get a 360 view of your own sexy show.
24. Use Sex Pillow
You deserve great support, and the box spring from college isn’t cutting it. Get a wedge sex pillow to get in a better position for deep penetration.
25. Have Sex in Public
Of course you don’t want to get arrested for public nudity, but you can explore public sex without too much exposure. Open your bedroom window during sex, get busy in your car or backyard, or wear a butt plug in public. You could also check out a local sex club or sex party. Finally, a social activity that doesn’t sound so awful.
26. Try to Have a Nipple Orgasm
Unlike “fetch,” this is totally a thing. If you or your partner have sensitive nipples, see if you can get a nipple orgasm. Nipple stimulation can activate your genital sensory cortex, just like genital stimulation. Use a suction vibrator on your nipples, try nipple clamps, or use your tongue and hands.
27. Play the Edge
Sometimes, the only thing hotter than an orgasm is not quite having an orgasm. Bring your partner right to the edge, then stop. Each time you stop and start again, building to the finale, the explosion will be like fireworks.
In her free time, she enjoys volunteering for reproductive justice causes, dropping that she worked at Walt Disney World into every conversation, and using her Wedding and Events Planner certification to throw Survivor watch parties. See more of her work on her website or follow her on Twitter @maddihiggs.
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